At Jack’s, we believe caregivers’ stories deserve to be heard. Stephen Stewart has been caring for his wife, Judy, since 2021, and he generously shared his story with our community. Here it is, in his own words.
----------------
My journey began in mid-2017 when my wife Judy was diagnosed with oral cancer. She had two surgeries, one to remove cancer in her cheek and one to remove cancer in her lymph nodes. After radiation and multiple scans, she was declared cancer-free.
We sold our house of thirty-plus years and bought a condo. Things seemed good, and we traveled and got on with our lives. The other boot was about to drop.
About mid February 2021, Judy started having pain in her mouth. We went back to her oncologist, and she did a biopsy and found more cancer. To relieve the pain, we started giving her hydromorphon and chasing it with OxyContin every four to six hours for a little relief until she was able to have surgery.
Surgery took place on the first of March, a quick little in-and-out of about ten hours. Two doctors tag-teamed to remove the cancer, and the other to remove the lower left jawbone and replace it with a leg bone.
I found her with a tracheotomy and a machine called a wound-vac attached to her cheek in the ICU. That was the start of our adventure.
Judy came home with the wound-vac still attached and a G-tube attached to feed her. No one told us that it is common for someone coming out of oral cancer surgery to have depression and anxiety. Well, she did with a vengeance. I learned to handle the machines and the other. Several weeks after her surgery, she wanted to go for a walk outside, so off we went with her walker in tow. You can probably see where this is going, but she tripped and fell, breaking her hip and shoulder; the next day she was in surgery to repair the hip. Two months of transitional care unit for therapy, and she was back home.
I have been the sole caregiver from 2021 until now. I was fortunate enough to find Jacks while attending a conference for cancer patients. That was a lucky day for me to find a group that was going through the same things I was dealing with.
While dealing with Judy’s issues, late last year I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I joked with the radiation technicians that this was respite for me. I got through the radiation and now have a clean bill of health.
Things have progressed to today, where Judy is cancer-free, but the deep depression and high anxiety remain. She has been declining steadily since March, when her Primary Doctor suggested Hospice. Judy has lost enough weight that I now hug a skeleton. I am hoping she will last until late October for our 50th anniversary, but I think September will be a very eventful month.
I am very blessed to have found Jack’s to help me on my journey.
That’s my story, and I am sticking to it. Errors of omission are my own.