New to Cancer Caregiving? Read the Creed!

Are you new to cancer caregiving?  Do you know someone who is?  When cancer strikes our loved one, we caregivers instantly begin playing a role we've never played before.  Cancer impacts every aspect of our life.  We get no training, no chance to get good at it first.  We just start playing the game!

---

The Beginner's Creed
By Peter J. Denning (Adapted to caregiving by Jack's)

I am a beginner.

I am entering a new game about which I know nothing.  I do not yet know how to move in this game.  I see many other people playing in this game now.  This game has gone on for many years prior to my arrival.  I am a new recruit arriving here for the first time.  I see value to me in learning to navigate in this domain.

There is much for me to learn:  The basic terminology.  The basic rules.  The basic moves of action.  The basic strategies.

While I am learning these things I may feel various negative reactions:  Overwhelmed at how much there is to learn.  Insecure that I do not know what to do.  Inadequate that I lack the capacity to do this.  Frustrated and discouraged that my progress is so slow.  Angry that I have been given insufficient guidance.  Anxious that I may never satisfy all the expectations of my loved-ones.  Embarrassed that everyone can see my mistakes.

But these moods are part of being a beginner.  It does not serve my goal and ambition to dwell in them.

Instead, if I make a mistake, I will ask, "What lesson does this teach?".  If I make a discovery, I will celebrate my aha moment!  If I feel alone, I will remember that I have many friends ready to help.  If I am stuck, I will ask for help from my teachers.

Over time, I will make fewer mistakes.  I will gain confidence in my abilities.  I will need less guidance from my teachers and friends.  I will gain familiarity with the game.  I will not cause breakdowns for promises I lack the competence to keep.  I have an ambition to become competent, perhaps even proficient or expert in this game.

But for now, I am a beginner.