A Stupid Fast Caregiver Pit Stop

7/24/2019

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

— George Carlin

The author appears to be winning our recent "Stupid Fast Go-Karting" Event, but in reality he's being lapped!

Explaining what “success” is as a caregiver is daunting. On a recent Sunday as we raced stupid fast on super cool racing machines, I realized that learning to drive a go-kart might be a suitable metaphor for learning to be a caregiver.

First, you start with the anticipation of learning to race. You think about how fast you’ll spin around the track, making perfect turns, gunning it on the straight away. You see others driving; therefore, you know if it’s possible for someone else, it’s possible for you. This is gonna be a piece of cake.

Next, then you must learn the rules of the road, stay on track, keep your focus and you should reach your destination successfully. Sounds easy enough doesn’t it?

So, as I was driving around the track, I get hit from behind, wiping out and watching the experts lapping me; I realized that there were three simple instructions to help me stay on track. Here they are:

Look ahead out of the front of the helmet

I remember a driving instructor once told me....

Your car will follow your eyes. Wherever you look the car will go. So, always place your vision on where you want to go, rather than where you don’t want to go.

Nevertheless, I would find myself looking at the karts next to me, behind me, the lines on the track and the tires on the side to make sure I was staying close enough and clear of everyone. My natural tendency was to focus on the places that I did not want to go.

It’s okay to use your brakes

Seriously, going fast is the goal, but that is accomplished through judicious use of the brakes. Of course, don’t ride the brakes like me, but proper application of the brakes to navigate around upcoming obstacles was important.

Celebrate the wins

Let’s be honest, I wasn’t winning any races. Todd “Mario Andretti” was just too good. But I could choose my own victories. Not flipping the kart for example. Making it around the track without spinning out. A lot of little victories verses one big one.

What does any of this have to do with being a caregiver?

Spend most of your time focusing forward to where you wanna go.
Don’t spend a lot of time looking back remembering what you did wrong or what you could have done better.
Slow down to navigate obstacles.
Occasionally review the numbers, celebrate your wins, and then get your head gear back on and get out there.

Of course, sometimes it feels like all you are doing is going around in circles with maniacs and idiots! Taking a pit stop with our Jack’s brothers can make all the difference.

By: Joseph Barisonzi

Joseph has been a Jack’s member for 8 months, since realizing he didn’t have a clue how to be a good caregiver for his daughter’s mother. She is doing very well -- and so is his daughter. Probably because of the great peer coaching Joseph has received at Jack's. They live on the Edina/Minneapolis border, close to Minnehaha creek. His daughter graduated from Highlands Elementary and enjoying a summer of Scouts BSA camping, cardboard camp, and a trip to Hawaii. Joseph is enjoying a summer of gardening, grilling and driving pre-teens all over the metro area.

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