Emerging from our local roots: A spotlight on Chris Burke

​At Jack’s Caregiver Coalition, we’re passionate about supporting caregivers and celebrating their strength.

In 2025, we’re launching One Million Strong, an ambitious campaign aiming to raise $1 million by 2026 and positively impact one million guy caregivers by 2035. This initiative will officially expand our resources to build a nationwide caregiver community in the U.S. and Canada.

Our commitment to serving caregivers has quietly extended beyond Minnesota in previous years, reaching any who have sought our support. But because we hadn’t clearly communicated that our services are open to those in need of them regardless of location, only a few guys out-of-state have taken advantage of them.

We’re changing that now, hoping to inspire more men to reach out.

In celebration of this expansion, we'd like to recognize our out-of-state caregivers. Men like Chris Burke, a former caregiver from Virginia, whose story embodies the heart of our mission.

Chris's Story

My late wife Elaine was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of cancer in June of 2022. She died in March of 2023. It was less than 9 months from her diagnosis to her death. 
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Early on, a friend asked me, “How are you doing as a caregiver?” But I didn’t feel like a caregiver. I thought it was a funny title at first because it didn’t feel incredibly demanding. It wasn’t something that took over my life. 

But as the cancer progressed, especially in the last few months of her life, caregiving went from a part-time job to a full-time job. And during that time, I was listening to a podcast and Jack’s Caregiver Coalition was mentioned. I remember very clearly looking at the Jack’s website and my first reaction was “This looks interesting.” My second reaction was, “I don’t wanna hang around these assholes. I don’t wanna get to know them. I don’t want anything to do with this!” 

I didn’t want to be a part of group of caregivers—and some of them had lost their spouses--but the truth was that I was already a part of that club. I didn’t choose to be, but I had to be. So, I made the decision to be. 

I wanted to get smarter about what I was facing. I was trying to learn everything about the unique cancer that Elaine had. Then I realized OK, I’m not gonna become an oncologist in the next 3 months. While learning about cancer made me feel like I was “doing something” to support Elaine, it didn’t help really her, and it wasn’t helping me either. I started to focus on other ways I could support her. 

It occurred to me that if I can learn about stuff to help her, why can’t I learn about stuff to help me? I knew this was all gonna suck, but I hoped some perspective would be helpful. I also figured the world’s top, most-talented athletes have coaches. Anyone who is serious about anything has a coach for it, so why wouldn’t I? What’s more serious than this? I’d never been through anything like this. And I doubt anyone does it enough to get good at it. Is anyone like, “After I lost my 14th wife, I really figured it all out!”?  

I wasn’t concerned about not being in the local area that Jack’s serves, and the folks at Jack’s weren’t concerned about that either. First, I engaged with the Help! I’m a Caregiver! program for new caregivers. 
I made my first donation to Jack’s right after that because it was such a valuable experience. And around that time my wife began a rapid decline, and she died less than two months later. 

The week after she died, I binge read six books on grief. Some were written by experts with PhDs and others were simply people that had gone through it, sharing their experiences. The single theme in everything I read was, “You have to face it.”  

Around that time, a member of the Jack’s team invited me to consider their Sequel Makers program. I said yes, and I was connected with my Jack-to-Jack Coach Jeff Myhre within a week or two of my late wife’s death. He helped as I “faced it.” 

My coach did three things for me that were helpful. 

1. HE’D BEEN THERE 
   The first thing was that he just got it. He’d been there. While every grief path is different, he knew the path. He knew the ups and downs and the obstacles. He shared his grief journey with me. He was very open to questions. And I had a lot of questions. I’d ask him, “Hey, did you go through this weird thing?” and he’d go, “Yep. And here’s how that went for me.” 
   
   
2. HE LISTENED 
   The second thing he did was listen. He gave me space to talk. Space to cry. Space to discuss the things I needed to work through. Losing a spouse is such a fundamental change to who you are. Jeff helped me understand and affirmed that it was OK that things were different. It was OK to feel some of the crazy ways I was feeling. 
   
   
3. HE WAS RELIABLE 
   ​In the months after my late wife died, I went through a period where it felt like almost everyone and everything in my life was disappointing. I irrationally felt my late wife disappointed me because she passed away. The people involved in her celebration of life disappointed me. I felt like people were always letting me down, and I felt that I couldn’t rely on anyone for anything. 

But through all that, my coach was reliable and steady. I could count on him. If we were scheduled to talk at 9 o’clock Eastern time, my phone would ring at 9 o'clock and one second. Maybe if I had a different coach, I’d have a different experience, but for anyone who loses a spouse, reliability and steadiness is a huge missing piece of your life. When you lose a spouse, you’re unmoored. You’re drowning. You need a lifeline. And Jeff was that for me. He was that floatation device that helped me realize, OK, these waves are bad. But I’ve got something to hang onto here. Jeff and I spoke weekly for many months. 

As I sit here today, we haven’t had a coaching conversation since the first part of this year. And that’s totally OK, I think the coaching relationship has a certain shelf life. We still stay in touch; he’ll shoot me a random text and I’ll drop him a note when he comes to mind. And every donation I make to Jack’s is in recognition of what he did for me and how he helped me through one of the worst times of my life. I don’t know if I’ll reach the top of the individual donors list, but I will always be on that list. ​

One Million Strong

This campaign will enable us to expand our reach, offering vital resources, community connections, and education to guy caregivers across the U.S. and Canada. With a focus on growth and inclusion, One Million Strong will create a nationwide network where caregivers can find the support they need.

We invite you to join us on this journey—whether through donations, spreading the word, or simply sharing your story. Together, we can make a lasting difference for caregivers everywhere.

Learn more about the campaign and how you can get involved by visiting our One Million Strong page.

Notice

As of December 4, 2024, Jack’s openly welcomes all guy caregivers across the U.S. and Canada, recognizing the widespread need for support on this journey. We hope this expansion reflects our commitment to our ultimate vision: A world where no guy caregiver feels alone.

If you or someone you know could use our support, please do not hesitate to reach out today.