I want to tell you about a guy. I'll call him Ray.
Ray gets paid by the hour. He doesn't have the flexibility his salaried supervisor has — no working from home, no leaving early without losing pay his family needs.
Then his wife gets cancer. Or his dad's forgetfulness turns out to be Alzheimer's disease. Overnight, Ray is carrying two identities: the one on his work badge, and the one nobody at work knows how to talk about.
I've witnessed situations like Ray's play out in urban oncology clinics. I've seen women coming in for cancer treatment with their kids because they can't afford to put them daycare. No guys in sight. It would be easy to assume the worst about a guy who isn't in the room. But often, the truth is simpler and sadder: he's working. And he can't afford not to.
Ray's coworkers ask, "How's your wife?" They don't ask, "How are YOU, Ray?" Because deep down, they know he's not okay. So they talk about the football game instead.
Ask Ray if he's a caregiver, and he'll shrug — he doesn't see himself in that word. Ask him if he's a provider, and his spine will straighten. That's the identity he's allowed to have. Ray doesn't know there's an organization that's built for guys like him. Most guys don't.
Here's what scares me: if we're not careful, the next thing standing between Ray and the community he needs might be a price tag.
Since Oprah told our story, the number of men asking Jack's for help has grown 400%. But revenue hasn't moved. Summer is usually our slowest season — looking at the fall and holidays coming fast, I'm projecting we could see that demand hit 800% over last year.
That gap is big enough that this week, I'm calling an emergency meeting with a small group of our most invested supporters who have also built and run successful companies. People who understand what it takes to create organizational sustainability, and who believe in this mission as much as I do.
One strategy that's on the table: some kind of paywall. Maybe a sliding scale. Maybe something else. When demand outpaces revenue, that's the obvious lever that most businesses pull without a second thought.
But before I bring that question to them, I'm bringing it to you first.
I don't know everyone who reads this blog, but I suspect most of you are like me. Professionals. Salaried with benefits. The kind of people who can take a call during the workday, or leave early for a doctor's appointment, and not lose a paycheck for it. I've had that kind of flexibility my entire career— and it's the only reason I was able to care for my wife and our kids as well as I did.
Ray doesn't get that option. And erecting a paywall between him and our community surely won't convince him to ask for our help.
Ray is exactly who Jack's exists for — same as every man caring for a loved one through a health crisis, whatever his job looks like. Ray is also the least likely to find us. Ray has no higher education, no flexibility, no benefits package, and he got thrown into caregiving with nothing to catch him. Without community Ray will quietly fall apart under weight he didn't choose and doesn't have words for — and Ray is the least likely of anyone we serve to pay for help if we start charging for it.
Here's the problem: We're seeing 400% more men reaching out us, soon maybe 800%. But they tend to be guys like me, with jobs flexible enough to make that first call. Ray, and the majority of men like him, still aren't finding us. Most don't know we exist. Most can't pay for what we offer — which is exactly why we've never charged them for it, and why I believe we never should.
That only works if people like you and me carry the cost instead of them.
There's another reason this matters. Women have always carried most of caregiving's weight. That's not going to change by asking women to carry less. It changes when men like Ray carry their share too — visibly, without shame, without waiting for permission. Every Ray we help feel less isolated is one more guy taking real weight off someone else's back. Do that enough times, and caregiving stops being a "women's" or "men's" issue. Eventually it just becomes something everyone does for each other.
So here's my ask, plainly: help us keep Jack's free for Ray. If you're already a donor, please consider stretching what you give — enough to at least keep pace with what inflation has quietly taken from it. If you're not a donor yet, or haven't been in a while, this is your moment. Not because I need convincing that you care. Because Ray, and the countless others like him, don't have the power to vote that you do.
Every gift is a vote for Ray.
Cast your vote today at https://www.jackscaregiverco.org/donate
